Just Barely Breathing
by Schnitzle Fish
Summary: Emma is having many problems in her house. Her mother has a new boyfriend who's not exactly the nicest guy around. How does Emma deal with her issues? Oneshot


**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi: The Next Generation, or any of the Degrassi affiliations. I do not own the song Just Barely Breathing by Killswitch Engage. And sadly, I do not own Daniel Clark.**

I look at the girl staring at me. The makeup on her is smudged and running down her cheeks, her eyes are puffy and red from days of crying, and her clothes are wrinkled from sleeping in them. Her beauty is broken inside and out. And much to my disappointment, I am she. My thoughts get lost inside my head. The more I think, and the more I look at myself, the more I sink into depression. I brought this upon myself.

**Descend into hysteria ****  
****Chaos of mankind ****  
****But who is listening ****  
****To the voice of hatred? ****  
****Tortured souls lost ****  
****So completely lost ****  
****Weakened in the concept of decline, Deception**

I look down at the floor, almost ashamed to be looking at this person, let alone _being_ her. My heart has turned cold and black, but not completely. I can still feel the ice and darkness enveloping it with their tight grasp. I fall back onto my bed, hearing nothing but the screams of my mother as her new boyfriend abuses her. After Snake died, things have just been going downhill. My mom is depressed, as am I. She doesn't know how to get out of her relationship, and I can't help her. She and I have become estranged. While our rooms are adjacent, we couldn't be further apart. I'm the child she doesn't know anymore.

**Are we alive, or just breathing? ****  
****Don't close your eyes, See the images ****  
****Are we alive, or just breathing? ****  
****Don't close your eyes, See the images**

I shut my eyes, screams and shouts are buzzing in my ears. I can feel the rise and fall of my chest. My breathing becomes shorter and shorter. But unfortunately, it doesn't cease. My body shakes with a spasm as I break out into uncontrollable sobs, yet again. I know _he_ will come down here once _he's_ finished with my mother. Placing _his_ mark upon her, and then me inside and out.

The screams have died down to loud hysterics. Thank god that Jack is at Joey's. I hear _him_ shout one more thing at my mother, who once was the strongest person I know, is now the weakest person I know. The more I remember my strong-willed mother, the larger the lump in my throat becomes. I hear heavy footsteps coming down my stairs. Shit. _He_ opens the door and I open my tearful eyes. _He_ just smiles at me with malice gleaming through his eyes. "You know what's going to happen. Don't worry, it'll only be about half an hour, I have somewhere to go tonight." _He_ says as if what _he's_ doing is normal, natural even. All I can do is nod through my fright.

_He_ slowly walks over to me and unzips _his _pants. "Don't forget, you're lucky tonight, Emma." _He_ then gets on top of me.

"I hate you." I whisper, and then I go off in my mind, trying to forget what is happening to me.

**The skies weep tonight ****  
****Our bodies washed away ****  
****I am waiting for you ****  
****Deliverance ****  
****The sun falls through the clouds ****  
****Hear my cry **

Finally,_ he's_ finished. It felt like hours, years even. _He_ gets up and pulls up _his _pants. "Get up, you whore!"_ He_ shouts at me. _He_ then slaps me. All I do is lay there, staring at _him_. "Slut, get up, now! Go get me my things!" I just stay where I am. "Fine, if you're going to be like that..." _He_ says as _he_ walks over to my wooden chair and picks it up._ He_ comes back over to me._ He_ starts hitting me with the wooden chair over and over again. 5, 10, 100 times, who will ever know? It's all the same. Each time he strikes me, my body flinches. But that's only because it's supposed to. It doesn't actually _feel_ the physical pain of the hits.

The sting of the chair against my legs, arms, chest, back and rib cage jolts throughout my body like little waves of electricity. It becomes numb through the pain. _He_ then walks back to where it was and whips it across the room at me. The chair itself misses me, but the leg of it hits my cheek. "That'll show you to respect me." _He _says as _he _turns around, and walks back up the stairs and out the door of my house.

I get up and walk up to the cabinet upstairs. I look around, trying to see if my mother is anywhere in sight. She's not. I take out a gun, much like the one that had been pointed at me not even two years ago. I slowly walk back downstairs and hold it in my hand. I stare at it in longing in a trance. I _want_ to do this; it's the only way. I break down into hysterics with my body going through its muscle spasms and broken breathing.

I pick up my phone and dial a number. I bring the phone to my ear. My hand and arm is shaking along with my body. I stare at the gun in my other hand. Do I really want to do this? What if it's not the only way?

**The skies weep tonight ****  
****Our bodies washed away ****  
****I am waiting for you ****  
****Deliverance ****  
****The sun falls through the clouds ****  
****Hear my cry**

"Emma?" A voice asks. I can't speak. My broken breathing and sobs are the only things that can be heard. "Emma?" The same voice asks, a little panicked. I still can't say anything. "EM?" The voice is now completely panicked. "S-S-Sean..." I finally say. "Em, I'm coming over." All I can do is sob. "S-S-Sean..." I say again. "Em-" I hang up the phone, bring the gun up with a trembling hand and rest it against my temple on my head and shut my eyes tight.

**I am waiting for you.**


End file.
